F the STATUS QUO!

Hey! Hey! I hope you all had a fabulous and restful weekend! I hope you all had a chance to read and reflect more about the relationships in your life that may be keeping you from living the life that you want.  As the previous blog discussed, I know that letting go of relationships that keep you from growing can be scary. When you finally get to this point of letting go, there will be a lot of emotions to include grief and loss, regret, and constant questioning if you did the right thing when you finally let go. Grief and loss in letting go of relationships will be a blog to discuss in the near future. 

Forging your own path is one of the hardest things that you will ever do. Why? Because it’s not going to be an overnight thing, there is pill, no wand (I am going to remind all of you a lot that there is no wand in this process). There is going to be a lot of trials, errors, emotional drain, tears, and questions from other people on why you’re doing what you’re doing; and I am here to tell you, you don’t have to tell anyone SHIT if you don’t want to. This is your journey! Sometimes, moving in silence is the best way to live your life and up leveling your life with actions which demonstrates that you are serious about your intentions. 

Which brings me to the next step in forging your own path which is challenging the status quo. Now I know that I keep saying that each step is hard and it is hard.  But why is challenging the status quo hard? Well it’s hard because it’s essentially challenging society’s beliefs, norms, and years of tradition. Regardless of what culture, race, socioeconomic status, and religion you are, there are certain expectations and beliefs that you are expected to follow and abide by. 

Essentially status quo are rules meant to govern, keep us in life, and ensure that we don’t deviate from what is comfortable.  It’s to make sure that we are like everyone else so that we can share in the same misery and the same experiences. It’s a comfortable path that is meant to languish you into tolerating mediocrity. 

So early in your life, you did what was expected of you, you followed the safe, narrow, predictable path that everyone else prior to you did. At first, it felt safe, familiar, relatable….then it got redundant and boring. You start questioning if there is more to life. You start pondering and really ask yourself how you are going to live this way for the next 40-50 years until maybe you’re lucky enough to retire. Everyone claims that they’re living the dream that society tells them is successful, happy, and have what the Joneses have.  But all you see and hear are very different.  You hear people complain about how tired they are, how miserable, how they are all just trying to survive. You see  that they need alcohol, constant partying, shopping, and comparison to make them happy in order to make their lives tolerable. 

Well guess what? You don’t have to wait until you’re well into your 60s or even 70s to have the life you want. You don’t have to follow everyone else’s path because that’s what is expected of you. If you want to have a life that is different from others, challenging the status quo is something that you will have to start doing. Like with everything else, when you voice your beliefs, opinions that are not part of the norm, you will get push back, questions, shame, and at times, be ostracized for wanting to be different. 

How does one get comfortable challenging the status quo? The foremost thing is to believe in yourself. When you challenge society’s narrative, you have to truly believe in yourself and believe that you know what is BEST for you. Oftentimes, especially as women, society loves to dictate what they think is best for us. Well, FUCK THAT! You as a person, as a woman, knows what is best for you. Don’t let anyone dictate to you on how to live your life. Most of the time, it’s other people’s fears, scarcity, and shortcomings that they are passing on to you. Don’t let their unresolved shit keep you unhappy. 

But what if you don’t know what you want? What if you just know that the path you’re currently on is NOT the right path for you? How do you even figure out what you like or don’t like?  Well girl..it’s okay!! It’s okay not to know what you like. Oftentimes, most people know what they don’t like versus what they like and this can be a great starting point.  This will require you to get out of your comfort zone and do things to say “Yep! I like this!” Or “Hell NO! NEVER AGAIN!” Or “Maybe? Let me try it a few more times and tweak it to how I like it.” The best part of all of this is that YOU get to decide and do what you want. 

Sometimes, we have unresolved traumas, fears, and blockages that prevent us from embracing our true authenticity. In cases like this, I recommend working with a mental health therapist to help you uncover the bonds that hold you back. To challenge the status quo of society, one has to truly be willing to get to know themselves and set  their own foundations. When you discover your foundations, this will give you the confidence and direction to discover your path, which may include taking unconventional steps, being bold, fearless, and ballsy in saying “Fuck yeah!” I’m gonna do this! 

Ready to live your life by your own rules? Be happy? Say FUCK OFF to idiots who love to tell you what to do? Girl, start challenging the status quo of society and come up with your own statuses! You only have one life to live so...how are you gonna live it? FABULOUSLY OF COURSE!!!